It was a meme posted by a talented soul who lives the BDSM Lifestyle 24/7. On the meme was a picture of a powerfully built man kneeling with his hands behind his back. I'll not post it here as such memes on my personal page causes me no end of problems with Facebook. The caption on the meme was about how much strength it took to kneel and submit to personal desires. That struck me about my root problem with many if not most Seme/uke relationships I see. They are often compared to D/s relationships, but they ate not really like them. These pairs are a hybrid of that Lifestyle built mainly on provocative images than on the actual tenets of the Lifestyle. Anyone whose been in my panels have heard that I have run across actual proof while editing Yaoi manga that is should not be a given mangaka are well versed with how male sex organs worklet alone how kinky practices actually work. As writers, they are doing what they need to do to get the characters from point a to point z, plot wise. They are also, unfortunately, correct that most fans don't give a damn about reality as long as the bodies look hot together. I find this irksome as a writer. As a practitioner of the Lifestyle, it is an alarming thing, because fans do not sometimes do not confine themselves to reading about these relationships. They are sometimes roleplaying them in person. What could go wrong allowing myself to be tied up and flogged by someone roleplaying a sadistic bastard who thinks rape is the way to handle an uke's first time?
What is missing in these pairings is that the uke should be at the very least as strong a personality as the Seme. And even with that, there should be some form of consent happening before things get heavy. The power exchange is at the heart of a BDSM relationship. Thus, for me to enjoy a hardcore Yaoi relationship, the uke has to have power to exchange. This the point where someone huffs at me 'Well, what ukes DO you like?' My favorite uke was created by the same mangaka who wrote my least favorite Seme. That would be Ranmaru of Ikoku Irokoi Romantan by Ayano Yamane. It is clear in the anime that drunk or drugged, Ranmaru knows how to fight off advances if he doesn't want them. I particularly loved their foreplay by fistfight. The next would be Naoki from Tightrope by Natsume Isaku. He is also an uke that would not be doing anything that he didn't really want. The comedies don't seem to have this much of a problem as the ukes typically have really willful personalities to further the humor between the couple.
I'm certain there are more strong ukes out there, and I would adore meeting them. Meanwhile, I write my own. The Ensnared universe had a hardoce Yaoi relationship that is Master/salve. It also has a considerable power exchange. In Ensnared Volume One www.amazon.com/Ensnared-DL-Warner-ebook/dp/B005UD7OCE/ , readers meets Lord Darius Galetea, a gorgeous, arrogant beast who runs a solar system of civilizations. During an outing with his closest advisor, Darius has a chance encounter with a beautiful though insolent young man that – it turns out – already worked for him finding antiquities from a past civilization. Darius has plans from the start to seduce Andreas into giving himself into service as his pleasure slave, or Dami. However, those are all upended when it is discovered a hit has been put out on Andreas. He accepts the role to protect himself while the plot is unraveled. The rest is full of spoilers. I can only say that Andreas' past and Darius life become more complicated than anyone could imagine. Here is a bit of what passed between them initially as recalled in Ensnared Volume 2 www.amazon.com/Ensnared-Two-D-L-Warner-ebook/dp/B0075YJBYK.
The alarm sounded just as the convoy cleared Octavius checkpoint into Amara. Minuteslater the streets were filled with frantic drivers. The Cosi's heavy transports had lights and sirens like the police, but people moved faster for these sounds and the girth of the massive vehicle. Andreas was in his building faster than he ever had been during the day. He was surprised when the guards took him to his apartment instead of the Penthouse. Odigos went with them to the barracks on the roof. Fortunately, Andreas found Lexo right away.
“Why did Darius send me here?” Andreas asked. “Does he not want to see me?”
“Oh, that's not the case, milord,” Lexo replied. “His Lordship thought you'd prefer to await his return here.”
“He isn't here?!” Andreas exclaimed. “The alarm has sounded. The streets are mobbed!”
“Milord, there is no need for worry,” Lexo said in his most assuring tone. “His Lordship is en route. There is much for one in his position to settle before communications go down.”
“How will he get through those streets in time?” Andreas demanded. Panic had grasped his heart with a cold, painful grip.
Lexo guided him to a seat at the dining room table. He gave him a small glass of whiskey then sat close to him.
“The Calix are trained to move at the sound of the Cosi's convoy even if they must drive on top of each other,” Lexo said. “He will get through in time. Drink that slowly and try to calm down. Shall I tell you about Chiron?”
Andreas sipped the dark amber liquor then nodded. He needed to keep his pounding heart from shattering his ribs.
“I managed to speak to him just after you talked to Lady Santorini,” Lexo said. “She had told him that she needed him to help secure her home and look after her and her Major Domo. He was most pleased that you and she trusted him thus. He swore he would take no risks.”
“I worried that he might think we didn't care if he returned,” Andreas said. “I didn't want him to risk the trip, and I knew the Lady needed the help.”
“I thought as much,” Lexo said. “I called to make sure he knew that. The driver will make sure they are all safe.”
“Good,” Andreas said as he continued to sip the drink. “Lexo, are the men safe on the roof?”
“Very much so,” he replied. “The building is lined with a very durable material that protects the building and it's systems. The shutters on all the windows and the balcony doors are made of the same material. They are all safe and well supplied, and they can reach us easily if there is a need.”
“Andreas, you're trembling,” Darius said quietly. “You're heart is pounding. What's wrong?”
“I was freaking the hell out,” Andreas replied tightly. “You weren't here...the roads were mobbed...and the storm...”
Darius held him closer. He kissed his temple.
“Darius...were you punishing me?” Andreas asked. He hated how small his voice sounded. The sad thing was that there wasn't anything he could do if Darius were tormenting him. He couldn't leave the Cosi even if he wanted to...and he didn't want to.
Darius pulled back to look Andreas in the eyes. His expression was concerned. His eyes were warm.
“Never, Andreas, never would I deliberately cause you a moment's anguish,” he replied. His voice was soft but the tone was intense.
Andreas swallowed hard around the lump in his throat as he nodded at the Cosi. He found he couldn't speak. His eyes welled up with unshed tears. Darius lowered his head. Andreas tilted his chin up. The kiss was what he needed – possessive but tender. Andreas had heard the truth in the Cosi's words, but he felt something else in that kiss. He yielded to it, wrapping his arms around Darius' neck and reveling being crushed against him.
“Thank you for looking after Andreas,” Darius said to Lexo as he swept Andreas into his arms. “Excuse us.”
Andreas was surprised that he was taken to his own bedroom instead of the Penthouse. Once there, he was deposited on the center of the bed. The room was bathed in a golden light from the many fat, tall candles placed about the room and the fire burning in the hearth. The light made Darius look more beautiful.
“Don't move,” Darius said as he began to undress. “I want to look at you.”
“This is the second time I thought I would have to fight you to have you,” he said mildly as he removed his clothing.
“When did you ever think I'd fight you?”
“Our first night together,” Darius replied. “You hadn't had time to think when you offered to serve naked. By that evening, you were rested and fed. I knew the weight of your pledge was heavy on your shoulders.”
“But I wanted you,” Andreas said as he hungrily watched Darius bare his skin. “And I had sworn to give myself to you.”
“I gave you no quarter when you were vulnerable,” Darius countered as he dropped his garments onto a chair. “I thought you may fight me for sake of your pride.”
“My pride was in keeping my vow. I was nervous about pleasing you,” Andreas said as he watched Darius climb onto the bed to straddle him. Those talented hands were unbuttoning his shirt. “You could have the best in the world...”
“I do, exquisite one,” Darius said as he deftly began to undress him. “And I have never taken anything about you for granted.”
Andreas finally understood what Darius was saying. There were things he wanted to say as well, but that big, warm body was covering him. That sinfully hot mouth was taking his. Everything could wait. They kissed for a long while without hurry. Darius seemed to be savoring them as he would a tasty treat. If Andreas could get his suddenly heavy eyelids to open, he would have peeked to see if the Cosi had the same expression as he did when he ate. But he was too lost in the moment, enjoying the sensations too much. Darius was very hard but he wasn't making any moves to take him. Andreas was certain he was still trying to calm him. The plan was working. All the panic of the morning seeped away under the warm weight of the Cosi. The grip in Andreas' embrace relaxed. His hands roamed through the soft, cool hair and along the broad, strong shoulders and well formed arms.
When Darius finally began to make love to Andreas, he was gentle and slow. He was still overwhelming physically and emotionally,the Darius was much softer in how he took him. He didn't hold him down or reduce him to the point he couldn't move. Andreas was able to hold Darius as well and caress him as they made love. It seemed that the more Andreas gave, the more open Darius became. He wasn't sure if it a Dami was allowed to hold his Master, but Andreas hoped this wouldn't be the only time for him. It was incredible to feel the tremors in Darius as he came.
Ensnared Volume 3 is in the works and there are short stories based on this pair in YGG Magazine.