Writing Yaoi Sex Scenes

A few weeks ago, I got into a discussion about writing sex scenes with a new author who found them difficult and embarrassing. She thought that readers would believe she had done the things her characters did. Every time she'd get into a groove, the thought of family or friends reading it would make her freeze, stifling her creativity. I'm not sure if I can help with that feeling. I am often mortified when I hear that my mother-in-law has been reading my erotica. I mean, who wouldn't be shaken up? I can't help an author with qualms over who may be reading his or her works. At some point, an author needs to own the work and be proud of all that effort and time and tears.

Keep It Real

As for writing sex scenes? I could say wing it. There seem to be no wrong ways in yaoi even if they defy the physical facts of male anatomy or physics and gravity, in some cases. It's clear that even some of the best writers out there don't know a lot about gay sex. One of the first mangaka we localized admitted that her agent had purchased gay porn for her to watch to improver her accuracy. She's very well known, and this is still a problem. I think getting the sex right is worth the effort. Mechanics are easy to research. Without spending any money, you can find quality porn that will give you the basics. Do not look at anime or manga yaoi for instructions on actual sex. Too many of them get it wrong (I mean the physical mechanics are just plain wrong) to use as an example of how to write your own scenes. However, to really write how characters feel during sex, it really helps to have had great sex. I'm not saying that having had great sex is essential in writing great sex scenes, but it really, really helps.

For me, sex is a way to reveal a character – no pun intended. How they make love tells a lot about who they are. Sex between the characters is just another way of communicating. It's really jarring to have a character take a 180 from his normal personality when he is in a sex scene. A playful Seme becoming a hyper-violent bully in bed rings false and can be a complete turn off. Likewise, the uber macho Seme who inexplicably gets lovey-dovey cutsy during sex is really off putting as well. Using the personalities seen outside of the bedroom actually makes writing the scenes in the bedroom easier. Creating a whole new persona for a character is not easy. I'll give you some examples of how I write and then a few suggestions for films and anime to watch that have terrific character driven sex scenes.

The Dominant/submissive or Seme/uke Relationship

As I have said many times before, there is more to this relationship that physical restraints or violence. My biggest baddest dominant or Seme, Darius Galatea, begins seducing his gorgeous and willful uke, Andreas Hesper, the first time he touches him. Darius is the most powerful man in a planetary system. Aside from that he is extremely hot and sensually compelling. His regard can be so intense that he cannot work with anyone on his staff that is attracted to males. There have been too many misunderstandings and broken hearts and obsessive stalkers. The arrogance in Darius is fully justified. Yet he takes nothing for granted when he really wants something or someone. Andreas Hesper has relatively little power compared to Darius. However, he is powerful in his own world. He knows instinctively if someone means him physical harm and knows how to protect himself. Andreas is also incredibly beautiful and sensual and full of mischief. Those qualities catch Darius' interest and complete attention. Just as he would in a complex business deal, Darius immediately began calculating the way he would pursue Andreas. He wants to addict Andreas to having sex with him. He wants him to willingly give himself completely for an indefinite amount of time. This entire plan begins with a dance in Ensnared Volume One .

The decision was made in a split second. Before Mykos could offer a course of action, Darius was on his feet. A second later, he was pulling Andreas into his arms. In one smooth movement, Darius entwined his long, elegant fingers with Andreas’ then pulled his left arm behind his back to bring him close. The other hand firmly held the right hand to guide the dance. Andreas was stunned for a few seconds, but soon he was moving in a sensual counter rhythm. Andreas relaxed in his grasp then met his gaze. Darius was impressed, and not just because of the way Andreas felt in his arms. They fit well and moved very well together – almost like they had danced that way before. What Darius admired was the attitude he was getting from Andreas. The challenge was there, but there was also curiosity in those incredible green-gold eyes. He met Darius’ eyes without fear, yet there was fascination and appreciation there as well.

Andreas Hesper was not fawning over Darius. He was subtly fighting, him all to the beat of the music. Every 8^th beat, he tried to pull back and get some distance from the Cosi’s body. No one watching them knew just how hard Andreas fought against being overwhelmed. He was very graceful and very subtle in his movements. Darius was just as graceful and subtle pulling Andreas back pressing him close without grinding against him. Though he knew that his face remained impassive, Darius felt a spark of lust from holding Andreas that he hadn’t felt in some time – if ever. He had to fight a nearly overwhelming urge to grab him by his hair and kiss Andreas long and hard. He wanted to weaken him to the point where he’d be willing to give his body for thorough use until he could come no more. Yes, that was deeply appealing and completely impractical.

Instead, Darius dipped his head to one side to scent Andreas just behind his ear. He smelled of warm spices. With that honey colored skin, Darius was certain that he tasted delicious. The Crew Leader inhaled sharply then leaned into the hold Darius had on him. The Cosi looked Andreas in the eyes once more. What he saw almost ended his fragile resolve. The fight was still there but this time his eyes were dilated and a little dreamy. This time, when he tried to pull away, Darius was certain that Andreas was fighting himself. Darius wondered what he would try next to escape.

“I’m Andreas Hesper, Lord Galatea,” he said. Darius found he liked that deep, rich voice a little desperate.

“I know that now,” Darius replied mildly. “It’s unfortunate that I’ve never dealt with you personally. That may have to change.”

Andreas swallowed hard just as the song ended. Darius released him with clear reluctance.

“Thank you, Lord,” Andrea said softly.

Darius wasn’t sure if he was thanking him for the dance or for releasing him. He returned to his table heedless of the gaping eyes upon him.

When circumstances force Andreas to seek protection from Darius, words are used to seduce him into complete surrender.

Andreas leaned heavily on the wall and stared absently out the window. Though his mind was still racing, his body felt like it was made of lead. He didn’t even notice that Darius had returned until the Cosi was looming over him. In that weakened state, Andreas found the man’s presence overwhelming.

“Darius...what...what will you have of me?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want me to be...naked for this whole time I am with you?”

“Ah, yes....always naked...always ready to receive me,” he murmured with a ghost of a smile playing on his face.

“Yeah,” Andreas managed with a hard swallow.

“Do you want to be always naked and ready for me?” He asked huskily.

Andreas felt his face flush. It was in his head to say hell no, but his brain couldn’t make his mouth say the words as he looked up into the Cosi’s hot blue gaze. What was happening to him?

Darius gently took Andreas by the chin once again and gently tilted his head up.

“We will share a great deal of pleasure, sweet Dami,” Darius said. “I know you have a profoundly sensual nature. I am not willing to share that nature or your beauty with anyone. You are not permitted to be unclothed for anyone save me. Nor is anyone else to touch you.”

Andreas was deeply relieved.

“The morning has caught up with you,” Darius observed. “You probably didn’t sleep well the night before.”

“No. Not really.”

“Go find the Master Suite, and lie down,” he said. His voice was gentle.

“But...don’t you want....aren’t I supposed to...”

“I will have you until you can’t come anymore,” Darius promised. His voice became sultry. “Have you ever been wrung dry, Andreas? Have you ever begged to stop coming?”

Andreas felt his knees weaken as his mouth went dry. He shook his head and waited for the kiss and the crush of that hard body against his.

“I want you awake enough to enjoy all the torment you’ve courted,” Darius murmured as he ran his thumb along Andreas’ lower lip. “Take your rest. You’ll wake when you’re hungry.”

Once in the bedroom, long before pinning Andreas down or shackling him to the headboard, there is the kiss. Darius uses kissing to weaken knees and drain resistance. By the time he gets around to using a restraint, Darius has taken the fight out of Andreas. That uke is willing to give Darius anything. He doesn't even have to demand. Meanwhile, Andreas wants to caress Darius as he is being caressed, but he rarely has the presence of mind to do anything but moan and come really hard. Andreas doesn't really mind any of this despite the power he possessed outside of his Seme's penthouse. In fact, the more Andreas gives in to his Seme, the more he wants to yield. In the latest short story, Enthralled (available for free in YGG Magaizine Issue 1), Darius finds out just how far his uke is willing to go to submit to him. But beyond being dominant and arrogant, the same humor and tenderness that comes out in their conversations comes out in their lovemaking. Andreas is playful when he isn't coming really hard. Darius is exasperating. They laugh often in bed.

In short, make sure that you get some good examples of actual sex. If possible, have great sex yourself. Finally, make sure the characters are the same inside the bedroom as outside. Also, don't worry about people thinking bad things about you for writing erotica. Such critics will find a reason to be haters no matter what you write, so write what you enjoy!

For love scenes that fit the criteria described in the blog, I recommend Judas Kiss featuring hot man on man

action with some sci-fi elements.View free here:  http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1876468505/ And for character sexiness on the run there is Desperado http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112851/?ref_=nv_sr_1 I think that the best anime I've seen for in character sex that looks accurate (especially the last sex scene) is Ikoku Irokoi Romantan http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL47F1A8E36AF6C8F2.

Have fun writing, and please share your results on the Yaoi a GoGo Facebook page. We may put you in YGG Magazine!

Non-Con Again, Scary Semes and Twisted Views

I thought this blog would be about the next Cook Like a Uke Video. The last few days have been spent doing strange research like finding lingerie – specifically teddys – that fit muscular guys. My Hubs looked over my shoulder, exclaimed 'whatever you're planning, count me out!' Then, he fled to the study. Silly Billy! It's nearly time for a new video shoot on Cook Like a Uke. Meanwhile, the latest edited video will go up by Friday. It's a real like Misaki from Junjou Romantica. However, I didn't get as far in my planning as I had hope. Instead, I'll talk about something that keeps coming up in reader e-mails.

Despite previous blogs like the one on Power Exchange, I've had some emails from those kind souls who've taken the time to read the sample chapters of Ensnared and some of my blogs. They raise some interesting points – even the ones that kind of called me a hypocrite. I have blogged against and have often spoken out against the continuing use of non-consensual relationships in yaoi (I hope to have an even bigger panel on this subject at upcoming conventions this year). It paints a picture to the outside world that all yaoi is about rape and torture. These opinions have become really important of late as companies like Amazon and Apple have banned yaoi. And, for a short time, Smashwords was going to ban erotica with such themes. It could be argued that it wasn't non-con that got those books banned, but why give anyone that ammunition when it isn't necessary? These perceptions can impact where we can buy yaoi or even if we can buy yaoi. I am a publisher as well as a writer who doesn't want a tired trope impacting my bottom line. I'm not trying to be provocative in saying it's a tired trope. I think times have changed in the decades since Yaoi was young. The general public know a lot more about gay men and their relationships. It isn't looked upon as something to be ashamed of. Thus, there is no need to have these pairings begin with an act of force or blackmail or any kind of coercion.

And as I mentioned in the Power Exchange blog, I think there is often a fundamental misunderstanding of how dominant/submissive relationships work. I plan on revamping my Primer on Writing BDSM and offering it for free as an e-book later this summer. I love D/s fiction! I adore strong, even overbearing Semes. Who doesn't love Usagi-san in Junjou Romantica or Al from Ikoku Irokoi Romantan? They are a tad pushier than I like, but overall, they are loving and protective and devoted to their exasperated ukes. They are irresistible in their arrogance. I'm with you all with regard to this type of Seme. I want yaoi to remain as sizzling hot and sexy as always!

The gentle readers who wrote were asking how the scenario I set up between Lord Darius Galatea and underworld gang leader, Andreas Hesper was not a non-con relationship. I admit that it looks like a duck and even quacks like a duck. But it isn't a duck. It's more like a platypus. Part of my point in creating that couple was that I wanted to prove that there could be all the tension and drama between the Seme and Uke that there is in a non-consensual pair while being a consensual relationship.

But readers of the excerpts point out that it seems that Andreas is being pressured to stop hanging out with his childhood friend and second in command, Viktor. This situation is not at all what it seems. I'm glad that the sample chapters intrigued readers enough to write me with these observations. I will respond to them as best I can; however, the best way to see that this story is not the usual trope but one that turns that trope on its ear is to read the entire story over the two volumes. I will answer what I can without revealing too much if only for the sake of not having readers think I am being a hypocrite. I must first give a little background.

Early in the existence of Zed Crew, a couple of members who held powerful positions were either booted from the Crew or, in one case, killed over love affairs that went very badly (in that, a jealous lover killed the Crew Member). These unfortunate events caused Andreas to issue a decree that none of Zed Crew was to be involved in high drama relationships. Further, there were restrictions on how much drinking and partying was allowed. The new rule suited Viktor as he was secretly in love with Andreas and didn't want anyone else closer to him than he was. This rule also coincided with the opening of Club Zero, a nightspot popular with almost all strata of that society and their Crew's base of operation. Thus, no one who frequented that club, including those who lusted after Andreas, ever saw him party hard or show a romantic interest in anyone. Viktor had spent years at Andreas' side and never saw him show an interest in another man or woman.

To Viktor and the others who wanted Andreas, Darius seemed to be able to waltz into the building and take what they all wanted. Despite everything they witnessed with their own eyes to the contrary, they couldn't accept that Andreas was the one who initiated the first encounter between him and Darius. So there is jealousy from those who want Andreas. Coupled with those intense and dangerous feelings, there is a plot to remove Darius from power by forcing him to take an outrageous action against those who want to trespass into his relationship with Andreas. This is the backdrop to what appears to be irrational possessiveness on the part of Darius. The only danger for Andreas and his freedom is the very real possibility that Darius will deem it unsafe for Andreas to live his life as he has. There are real physical dangers to this uke as those who lust after him grow more and more frustrated that their feelings are not returned. It is Darius' prerogative to determine how best to keep Andreas safe. Under the terms of their contract, Andreas must obey – even if that means being locked away or chained to Darius' bed. This is not a non-con relationship, because Andreas agreed to accept the terms of their contract without hesitation and without coercion. The fun of reading the book is finding out whether or not Andreas can find a way to stand up to such a powerful being and keep his freedom while keeping his Owner happy. And, if this is possible, how he manages to pull it off without triggering Darius' world famous temper.

To get the answers, you will have to start reading!