The First Kiss Blueprint in Yaoi

Yaoifix.com ran this quote on Facebook the other day:

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.”
― Emil Ludwig

This is an awesome quote, especially where yaoi is concerned. Every Fujoshi anticipates that first kiss between Seme and uke. For me, that kiss is even more important than the first time they have actual sex. Ludwig's reasons are my own for this obsession with the initial lip lock. That kiss does tell me a lot about how the relationship will unfold through the rest of the manga or anime. This works for yaoi novels as well. A kiss is a far more personal act than a sex act. Perhaps because it is more eye to eye. I'm not sure why, but many professional sex workers deem the kiss as something so special that it is not a part of the paid act. Kissing isn't necessary to get a client off. That act can be 'saved' for people who mean something more.

For example, in Junjou Romantica, Usagi-san had already gotten Misaki off with his hand before any kiss happens. He didn't kiss the young man until Misaki tried to comfort him after a devastating loss. That kiss is long, open mouthed and quite intimate. Their bodies are completely flush. Usagi-san's kiss is overwhelming to Misaki that first time just as their relationship and their lovemaking tends to overwhelm him. During that kiss, Misaki surrenders himself at the same time he is comforting Usagi-san. And that is how their relationship unfolds. Everything about the dynamic between those characters – including the humor – is in that kiss. Misaki isn't shouting at Usagi-san at that moment, but he had been a few seconds earlier. Everything between them is there.

The first kiss looms largely in my erotica. The kiss reflects how the characters will make love and how the dynamic between them will work. For example, there is the first kiss in A Soldier's Choice.

“I didn’t think your eyes could get any darker,” he whispered, swallowing hard.

“You’ve watched my eyes, Vincent?” I whispered in return as I stepped closer to him.

“How else would I know how much trouble I was in back then?”

I smiled at him. “How much trouble are you in now?”

He tried to glare at me. “I’m the rookie here. Will you just do something?”

“So much for my carefully planned seduction,” I sighed stepping almost flush with him.

“Dammit, Rik...”

I took his mouth then. I’d always wanted to shut him up mid-tirade, but I’d never dreamed it would be while claiming such a delicious kiss. That sauce with the wine was really nice on his tongue. His mouth was hot and sweet. His lips trembled with the newness of the kiss just before he opened for my tongue. I wondered if this was his first.

I hoisted him up on the counter so that he was above my head. Vincent deepened the kiss as I undid his ponytail and sank my fingers into that thick, silken mass. Hardcase may have been a rookie in this, but he was always a lightning fast study. He was ravaging my mouth with that deadly tongue and weakening my knees by the time the rice cooker clicked off.

Vincent tore his lips from mine, but I had him by that glorious mane of hair. He wasn’t getting far. Those hooded amber eyes met mine as we panted at each other.

“Supper’s ready,” Vincent rasped.

Lord, I didn’t want to let him go, but I did. Patience was something I always harped on when Vincent was in my squad. I couldn’t give in to the intense wave of lust washing over me. I reluctantly released his hair then set him on his feet. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I wanted to grab him again; he looked so beautiful in that aroused state.

Rik kisses his subordinate mid-tirade. Tirades were and are a frequent form of communication between them. Rik is very pleased at finding a very satisfying way to end one. Initially, Rik dominates the kiss, but soon Vincent is asserting himself and taking what he lusts for. The kiss becomes a duel for dominance that is a hallmark of their love life. The only difference in the first kiss is that it is Vincent's very first. He is less sure of himself then than during the kisses that follow. However, that uncertainty does not stop him from fighting for control. And that is a huge feature of his relationship with Vincent.

In Ensnared, the first kiss comes after Andreas gives himself to Darius as a sex slave for a year. They had done nothing more than dance together before this:

“Relax, Andreas,” a voice said from behind him.

Andreas put his hands down and removed his helmet. Darius was walking toward him with the air of a man in full command of a situation. His beautifully long, silken hair gently stirred in the breeze. His eyes were covered by sunglasses, making his face look cold. Andreas wondered if he should be worried as he came very close. Somehow, he found the courage to get off the bike and face him.

“What happens now?” Andreas asked, trying not to tremble.

Darius removed his sunglasses and gazed intently at Andreas.

“I will offer you my protection in my home while this contract on you is investigated,” Darius replied. “It is obvious that the only way you will be completely safe is in my custody.”

“I can't argue with that,” Andreas said. “But what do you want in exchange for this protection? I don't have very much.”

Darius smiled at him. It was a beautifully predatory smile that sent a chill down his spine.

“I want you, Andreas. Wasn't that clear the other night?”

“You want me...as a lover?”

Darius shook his head. The smile, like his eyes, grew hotter.

“We will be lovers, but that isn't enough for me, exquisite Andreas,” he said softly. “I want you to be my Dami. I want to own your body, mind and will for at least a year.”

Andreas felt like the ground dropped from beneath his feet. His body was reacting even as his mind was rebelling. He wanted Darius like he'd never wanted anyone before, but could he give himself so completely to someone he barely knew? Could he risk turning him down? What would he become if he accepted?

“Trust me, Andreas, and submit to me completely. Now.”

That voice made him hard and weakened everything that was trying to fight this. His final thought before he spoke was that Viktor would never let him hear the end of it.

“Yes, Darius,” Andreas said softly as he met the Cosi's gaze. “I will be your Dami. I submit.”

“Good,” he murmured, taking Andreas by the hand.

They threaded their way through the vehicles until they could see the would-be hit squad. They were quite safe as the Cosi security team outgunned them and were on a hair trigger for any movement. Andreas couldn't believe that they remained with all that firepower and the police still there. How much were these guys being paid or what were they facing if they failed? The security shield dropped.

“Attention,” Darius said in a booming and commanding voice. “Andreas Hesper is under my protection from now hence. He is my property and as such, you will have to take on the Cosi and me to get to him.”

Andreas inhaled sharply causing Darius to turn toward him. The Cosi's eyes were hot as he dropped Andreas' hand to grab him by the hair at the back of his head. Finally, those full, firm lips were on his. Then, that tongue was pushing inside his mouth, claiming him more forcefully than words could. The kiss was voracious and demanding. Andreas responded even as his knees weakened and he sagged against the larger man. Darius lifted his head and smiled down at him.

“Yes, Andreas. You are mine,” he murmured.

This kiss is the blueprint for everything intimate between this Seme and this uke. Darius is demanding and possessive from that point hence. Andreas always buckles under the heat and intensity of his kiss. His knees buckle even faster once he has known Darius as a lover. His submission becomes more and more complete with each surrender. And it all begins with that first kiss.

Okay, I need to go watch or read or watch some yaoi now. Links to longer excerpts can be found in the menu on the left. Links on where to purchase the print and ebook versions are there as well.

Joys and Terror of an Insane Seme

I've blogged a lot about the possessive Seme and a bit on Seme on Seme relationships, but there is a Seme I really adore but don't see too often that I'd like to talk about today. The Insane Seme has all of the characteristics of the typical Seme – gorgeous, strong, passionate, possessive and sex crazed. On top all of that fun, this Seme is quite a bit nuts. I have few examples, so I'll talk about the first one I ever ran across and my absolute favorite.

Usami Akihiko from Shungiku Nakamura's Junjou Romantica has all the traits of a great Seme, including great wealth and talent. When I first saw the show, I was thinking 'Okay, another arrogant Seme about to set upon this poor, vulnerable young man.' The spooky room full of toys gave me pause, but it wasn't until Usami-san was seated beside that big stuffed bear on the sofa that I realized he was bonkers. By the end of the first episode, I was madly in love with this Seme. Usagi-san's state of mind is the result of complex situation within his family during his childhood and his being a writer. For the most part, writers are wacky. How wacky varies from writer to writer.

Usagi-san is really, really wacky. That's quite a combination with arrogant and possessive. One might think that it would be too much for 18 year old Takahashi Misaki to handle. But I think that the overt nature of Usagi-san's zaniness revealed the vulnerable side of this rich and powerful Seme to Misaki. He could see through all of this man's formidable defensiveness better than people who have known the man for decades. Misaki knows and understands Usagi-san better than his brother who has been his best friend. This gives the uke a measure of power in the relationship. That power grows as Misaki takes on more and more responsibility for aspects Usagi-san's life. All of this began because Usagi-san was obviously a bit nuts.

Junjou Romantica's premise does not seem to be exciting. At it's simplest, the plot revolves around an orphaned college student who lives with a writer who has family problems. Their lives are filled with deadlines and the occasional family squabble. The beauty of the pair Shungiku Nakamura created and this manga and anime is that even without the high drama and threat of violence, they are fascinating and exciting. Despite the love of teddy bears, Usagi is a real Seme and quite capable of going to find his uke and drag or carry him home. Usagi-san is also not afraid to strip said uke naked and pound into him that he belongs to said Seme. Usagi-san's instability makes the story very scary to me. He has a lot to lose if he snapped and did something in a public setting. Misaki is very afraid that his Seme will do something unwise in front of the wrong people. He would never lose his money – unless he managed to spend it all on too many suits for Misaki. But he could lose his writing career which is more important to who he is as a person than the money. There are people in Usagi-san's life who want to protect that career, but they don't realize that his survival as a writer and a man has become wrapped up in his relationship with Misaki. That misunderstanding and Misaki's reluctance to admit that he has fallen in love with a man makes Junjou Romantica really scary sometimes. Usagi-san is crazy enough where Misaki is concerned that he is willing to risk everything to keep his uke beside him.

There are other insane Semes, I'm sure. Takano Masamune of Shingiku Nakamura's spinoff series, Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi is certainly nuts. However, he isn't the kind of gleefully batty that Usagi-san is. I'd love to see more variations of the arrogant and possessive Seme. I would certainly welcome the humor that a nutty Seme brings to a story. I'd be very interested to hear other opinions.

Andreas Comes Alive, Naughty Freebies and Protective Ukes

I have to preempt my planned blog to have a flailing fit over a photo I spied in a web magazine called Gaytwogether.com. This image appeared on Friday. Maddeningly, there is no name for the model. There is no listing even for an agency!! Anyway, feast your eyes on the embodiment of Andreas Hesper from Ensnared. He would have no beard or mustache, but that's him! I was distracted most of the day trying to find out who represents this dreamboat. I was hoping to hire him to do some photos for posters and the like. Alas, there was no info on him to be had from the website or the photo. At any rate, it isn't often that I've seen an near perfect representation of a character in real life. I thought my readers might enjoy looking at that face as much as I did.

Now, where was I?

Naughty Freebies

I'm planning on doing a few convention appearances this year. Thus far, there is The West Hollywood Book Fair in September, Yaoicon in October and Bent Con in December. For those occasions, I am planning on giving away some fun merchandise that is in keeping with the themes of my yaoi books. This has made for some entertaining things turning up in my search history. I'll bet you never thought about how many kinds of key words it took to find novelty packets of mini lube. The right word is pillows. Pillows??!! I found them on Amazon, believe it or not. Little did I know that putting them on my wish list or favoriting something on Etsy like the 'Pocket Sadist' mini flogger would end up on my Facebook page. Not that I hide my interests or the nature of my writing, but an image of a big bucket o' lube (really, amazon?) or an image of a mini flogger is waaaay more 'in your face' than I ever am. Ah, well. On the plus side, I did find a lot of really cool things to give away at these events. And no worries if you aren't planning on attending any of them1 I'm planning on contests that will coincide with the events where my readers can get a chance to win some or all of these items. Along with the naughty things, there will be fun stuff like illustrated short stories featuring my yaoi men and an illustrated cookbook by Vincent Greven and a Dami ear tag and collar from Ensnared. I'll have more details and images of all of the freebies closer to the events.

Onto my original topic of the day!

Protective Ukes

I've talked a lot about possessive Semes, because I adore them. What's the point of being a Seme if it isn't to be crazy possessive? I've also talked about the headstrong uke. There is another type of uke that I adore reading and watching and writing. I really adore the protective uke. That trait seems to be counter-intuitive. The definition of being a uke is being submissive to a dominant partner. Such dominants are powerful people. How could a uke think his Seme would need protecting? The Seme's I like the best are very complicated. As powerful as they really are, there is always some vulnerability in the Semes I like to follow and most definitely in the ones I like. Let's take one my very favorite yaoi couples, Akihiko Usami and Takahashi Misaki of Junjuo Romantica. Usami or Usagi is a very powerful man. He is wealthy and successful and well regarded. His confidence is so absolute that it often drifts into arrogance. Yet, from the beginning of their relationship and before they were really lovers, Misaki sensed that Usagi was fragile emotionally. He is protective of him even from his own brother's insensitivity. Later, he is vehement in defending Usagi against anyone who had a bad word against him – even if those words were true. I adore the complex interplay between these two adorable men.

My own ukes are very protective of their Semes. Darius Galatea of Ensnared Volumes 1&2 is literally the most powerful being on the planet. Yet even he is vulnerable if he has a perceived weakness or eccentricity. His choice of Andreas Hesper as a lover alone could endanger his life. Andreas is sensitive to this concern from the start of their relationship. He is very protective of the image Darius presents while they are together. Though Andreas cannot bear the thought of being apart from Darius, he is consumed with the concern that their relationship will cause his lover's downfall or even his death. Many of his actions during Volume Two, including cutting himself off from his oldest friend, are about protecting Darius from forces that are almost as powerful as he is seeking to take his position and his life. In the Soldiers books (A Soldier's Choice and A Soldier's Fate), The physically powerful Colonel Rik Heron is vulnerable from forces in the military that helped create him and he is emotionally fragile. Upon his return from oblivion Vincent has two purposes in life – loving Rik Heron and protecting him from all threats. Vincent is also willing to protect his lover from even those closest to them. In both cases, the ukes biggest fight in protecting their respective Semes is with the Semes themselves. Often, it is their own behavior that causes the biggest problems. For Andreas, this is a very delicate dance he must do with his Seme. Darius was literally bred to lead. His words are like laws – they must be obeyed. It is difficult to get him to accept that he even needs protecting let alone allow others to act on his behalf. Vincent, on the other hand, can be much more direct. He makes sure his lover eats and rests. And everyone knows that to cross Rik means that Vincent's powerful anger and his dangerous abilities will be aimed squarely at the threat. This facet to these love stories makes them more compelling for me as a reader and a writer. Hopefully my readers will feel the same. For links to excerpts from these books or links on where to purchase the books, see the MENU to the right.

Next time, an exciting preview to the next yaoi manga I worked on for DMG. It's Sakira's white hot Wild Boyfriend!

Non-Con Again, Scary Semes and Twisted Views

I thought this blog would be about the next Cook Like a Uke Video. The last few days have been spent doing strange research like finding lingerie – specifically teddys – that fit muscular guys. My Hubs looked over my shoulder, exclaimed 'whatever you're planning, count me out!' Then, he fled to the study. Silly Billy! It's nearly time for a new video shoot on Cook Like a Uke. Meanwhile, the latest edited video will go up by Friday. It's a real like Misaki from Junjou Romantica. However, I didn't get as far in my planning as I had hope. Instead, I'll talk about something that keeps coming up in reader e-mails.

Despite previous blogs like the one on Power Exchange, I've had some emails from those kind souls who've taken the time to read the sample chapters of Ensnared and some of my blogs. They raise some interesting points – even the ones that kind of called me a hypocrite. I have blogged against and have often spoken out against the continuing use of non-consensual relationships in yaoi (I hope to have an even bigger panel on this subject at upcoming conventions this year). It paints a picture to the outside world that all yaoi is about rape and torture. These opinions have become really important of late as companies like Amazon and Apple have banned yaoi. And, for a short time, Smashwords was going to ban erotica with such themes. It could be argued that it wasn't non-con that got those books banned, but why give anyone that ammunition when it isn't necessary? These perceptions can impact where we can buy yaoi or even if we can buy yaoi. I am a publisher as well as a writer who doesn't want a tired trope impacting my bottom line. I'm not trying to be provocative in saying it's a tired trope. I think times have changed in the decades since Yaoi was young. The general public know a lot more about gay men and their relationships. It isn't looked upon as something to be ashamed of. Thus, there is no need to have these pairings begin with an act of force or blackmail or any kind of coercion.

And as I mentioned in the Power Exchange blog, I think there is often a fundamental misunderstanding of how dominant/submissive relationships work. I plan on revamping my Primer on Writing BDSM and offering it for free as an e-book later this summer. I love D/s fiction! I adore strong, even overbearing Semes. Who doesn't love Usagi-san in Junjou Romantica or Al from Ikoku Irokoi Romantan? They are a tad pushier than I like, but overall, they are loving and protective and devoted to their exasperated ukes. They are irresistible in their arrogance. I'm with you all with regard to this type of Seme. I want yaoi to remain as sizzling hot and sexy as always!

The gentle readers who wrote were asking how the scenario I set up between Lord Darius Galatea and underworld gang leader, Andreas Hesper was not a non-con relationship. I admit that it looks like a duck and even quacks like a duck. But it isn't a duck. It's more like a platypus. Part of my point in creating that couple was that I wanted to prove that there could be all the tension and drama between the Seme and Uke that there is in a non-consensual pair while being a consensual relationship.

But readers of the excerpts point out that it seems that Andreas is being pressured to stop hanging out with his childhood friend and second in command, Viktor. This situation is not at all what it seems. I'm glad that the sample chapters intrigued readers enough to write me with these observations. I will respond to them as best I can; however, the best way to see that this story is not the usual trope but one that turns that trope on its ear is to read the entire story over the two volumes. I will answer what I can without revealing too much if only for the sake of not having readers think I am being a hypocrite. I must first give a little background.

Early in the existence of Zed Crew, a couple of members who held powerful positions were either booted from the Crew or, in one case, killed over love affairs that went very badly (in that, a jealous lover killed the Crew Member). These unfortunate events caused Andreas to issue a decree that none of Zed Crew was to be involved in high drama relationships. Further, there were restrictions on how much drinking and partying was allowed. The new rule suited Viktor as he was secretly in love with Andreas and didn't want anyone else closer to him than he was. This rule also coincided with the opening of Club Zero, a nightspot popular with almost all strata of that society and their Crew's base of operation. Thus, no one who frequented that club, including those who lusted after Andreas, ever saw him party hard or show a romantic interest in anyone. Viktor had spent years at Andreas' side and never saw him show an interest in another man or woman.

To Viktor and the others who wanted Andreas, Darius seemed to be able to waltz into the building and take what they all wanted. Despite everything they witnessed with their own eyes to the contrary, they couldn't accept that Andreas was the one who initiated the first encounter between him and Darius. So there is jealousy from those who want Andreas. Coupled with those intense and dangerous feelings, there is a plot to remove Darius from power by forcing him to take an outrageous action against those who want to trespass into his relationship with Andreas. This is the backdrop to what appears to be irrational possessiveness on the part of Darius. The only danger for Andreas and his freedom is the very real possibility that Darius will deem it unsafe for Andreas to live his life as he has. There are real physical dangers to this uke as those who lust after him grow more and more frustrated that their feelings are not returned. It is Darius' prerogative to determine how best to keep Andreas safe. Under the terms of their contract, Andreas must obey – even if that means being locked away or chained to Darius' bed. This is not a non-con relationship, because Andreas agreed to accept the terms of their contract without hesitation and without coercion. The fun of reading the book is finding out whether or not Andreas can find a way to stand up to such a powerful being and keep his freedom while keeping his Owner happy. And, if this is possible, how he manages to pull it off without triggering Darius' world famous temper.

To get the answers, you will have to start reading!

Cook Like a Uke -- A Seme Breakfast

Cook Like a Uke -- A Seme Breakfast is LIVE (click the title)!

A gentle reminder that his series is a PARODY. This episode was certainly a comedy of errors (technical problems abound). My sound mixing software seems to be possessed by an annoying demon. There are sound FX that I didn't record and some things I did record are missing. I fogot to put in my transition FX and I know there are some captions missing. But the sucker is up and still chocked full of really good info and techniques. 

As I said in the earlier blog, This video is based on a breakfast made by Misaki Takahashi from Junjou Romantica episode two. Misaki-kun is the epitome of the cooking uke. He always has the apron and cleaver ready to keep his Usami fed despite his crazy hours. This reminds me that I need to try some of Misaki's salmon recipes at some point. I did not do two dishes from the breakfast. I've never cooked with natto beans, so I didn't think a video shoot was a good time to start. Also, my own Seme (or actually, my husband who THINKS he's my Seme) doesn't do fish in the morning. I like to make meals that we'll actually east, so we aren't wasting food. So, I substituted those with pork sausage!

Here are the recipes and the links to more information and equipment from the video. As always, thank you for your support and patience.

Dashi Soup

4 cups of cold water

approx. 3x5 inches of Kombu Kelp

3 oz of Benito Flakes

Miso Soup

2 cups of Dashi Soup

1 tbs of white miso paste or any kind you like

cubed firm tofu

green onions

Tamagoyaki

2 eggs

½ tsp soy sauce

1tsp mirin

salt to taste

oil for fray pan

Basic Japanese Rice http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DovkRLdU_DE&feature=colike

RunnyRunny999's Typical Japanese Breakfast

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KopkrEA66sA&feature=colike

Tamago Pan http://amzn.com/B000HS0SHA

Onigiri Molds http://amzn.com/B0033RRTLA

Cooking Chosticks http://amzn.com/B0000CDHN8

  Ensnared Volume One, the Paperback is now  on Amazon.com HERE

 Ensnared Volume Two is LIVE on Kindle HERE
The paperback is available HERE
Ebooks for all types of players available on Smashwords HERE  
Ensnared Volume One Kindle Ebook Available HERE 
Check out full chapter excerpts for Volume One and Volume Two under Hot Links in the Menu on the right side of this page!

Cook Like a Uke February Update

The next Cook Like a Uke episode will be up early next week. I've been delayed again by my various real life obligations. One of them, as I mentioned last week, is an editor for Digital Manga. My localizing team, Heaven's Blade, was putting our first title to bed. Again Tomorrow by Nabako Kamo was as fun to do as it was challenging. I wrote a brief blog about the Semes in the book and their tendency toward really public and explicit public displays of affection HERE.

I have managed to shoot most of the video while juggling my other work. I just have one scene to re-shoot. I'm doing my version of the perfect breakfast from Junjou Romantica episode 2. I've added and deleted some dishes. I'll explain that more fully when I post the video. The one after that will be the Pork Tonjiu recipe from episode 1 of Junjou Romantica. What can I say? Misaki Takahashi is adorable, and he really loves to cook for his Seme, Akhiko Usami or Usagi. I should have a more consistent shooting schedule now that I have a stable routine for the rest of my work. Meanwhile, I'll be posting a regular cooking video that is a response to video posted by one of my favorite Japanese chef's online, Ochikeron. If you're interested in Kara Age Style Buffalo Wings, subscribe to my channel or just check in there early next week.

Thank you for your patience and encouragement. 

 Ensnared Volume One, the Paperback is now  on Amazon.com HERE

 Ensnared Volume Two is LIVE on Kindle HERE
The paperback is available HERE
Ebooks for all types of players available on Smashwords HERE  
Ensnared Volume One Kindle Ebook Available HERE 
Check out full chapter excerpts for Volume One and Volume Two under Hot Links in the Menu on the right side of this page!