The First Kiss Blueprint in Yaoi

Yaoifix.com ran this quote on Facebook the other day:

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.”
― Emil Ludwig

This is an awesome quote, especially where yaoi is concerned. Every Fujoshi anticipates that first kiss between Seme and uke. For me, that kiss is even more important than the first time they have actual sex. Ludwig's reasons are my own for this obsession with the initial lip lock. That kiss does tell me a lot about how the relationship will unfold through the rest of the manga or anime. This works for yaoi novels as well. A kiss is a far more personal act than a sex act. Perhaps because it is more eye to eye. I'm not sure why, but many professional sex workers deem the kiss as something so special that it is not a part of the paid act. Kissing isn't necessary to get a client off. That act can be 'saved' for people who mean something more.

For example, in Junjou Romantica, Usagi-san had already gotten Misaki off with his hand before any kiss happens. He didn't kiss the young man until Misaki tried to comfort him after a devastating loss. That kiss is long, open mouthed and quite intimate. Their bodies are completely flush. Usagi-san's kiss is overwhelming to Misaki that first time just as their relationship and their lovemaking tends to overwhelm him. During that kiss, Misaki surrenders himself at the same time he is comforting Usagi-san. And that is how their relationship unfolds. Everything about the dynamic between those characters – including the humor – is in that kiss. Misaki isn't shouting at Usagi-san at that moment, but he had been a few seconds earlier. Everything between them is there.

The first kiss looms largely in my erotica. The kiss reflects how the characters will make love and how the dynamic between them will work. For example, there is the first kiss in A Soldier's Choice.

“I didn’t think your eyes could get any darker,” he whispered, swallowing hard.

“You’ve watched my eyes, Vincent?” I whispered in return as I stepped closer to him.

“How else would I know how much trouble I was in back then?”

I smiled at him. “How much trouble are you in now?”

He tried to glare at me. “I’m the rookie here. Will you just do something?”

“So much for my carefully planned seduction,” I sighed stepping almost flush with him.

“Dammit, Rik...”

I took his mouth then. I’d always wanted to shut him up mid-tirade, but I’d never dreamed it would be while claiming such a delicious kiss. That sauce with the wine was really nice on his tongue. His mouth was hot and sweet. His lips trembled with the newness of the kiss just before he opened for my tongue. I wondered if this was his first.

I hoisted him up on the counter so that he was above my head. Vincent deepened the kiss as I undid his ponytail and sank my fingers into that thick, silken mass. Hardcase may have been a rookie in this, but he was always a lightning fast study. He was ravaging my mouth with that deadly tongue and weakening my knees by the time the rice cooker clicked off.

Vincent tore his lips from mine, but I had him by that glorious mane of hair. He wasn’t getting far. Those hooded amber eyes met mine as we panted at each other.

“Supper’s ready,” Vincent rasped.

Lord, I didn’t want to let him go, but I did. Patience was something I always harped on when Vincent was in my squad. I couldn’t give in to the intense wave of lust washing over me. I reluctantly released his hair then set him on his feet. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. I wanted to grab him again; he looked so beautiful in that aroused state.

Rik kisses his subordinate mid-tirade. Tirades were and are a frequent form of communication between them. Rik is very pleased at finding a very satisfying way to end one. Initially, Rik dominates the kiss, but soon Vincent is asserting himself and taking what he lusts for. The kiss becomes a duel for dominance that is a hallmark of their love life. The only difference in the first kiss is that it is Vincent's very first. He is less sure of himself then than during the kisses that follow. However, that uncertainty does not stop him from fighting for control. And that is a huge feature of his relationship with Vincent.

In Ensnared, the first kiss comes after Andreas gives himself to Darius as a sex slave for a year. They had done nothing more than dance together before this:

“Relax, Andreas,” a voice said from behind him.

Andreas put his hands down and removed his helmet. Darius was walking toward him with the air of a man in full command of a situation. His beautifully long, silken hair gently stirred in the breeze. His eyes were covered by sunglasses, making his face look cold. Andreas wondered if he should be worried as he came very close. Somehow, he found the courage to get off the bike and face him.

“What happens now?” Andreas asked, trying not to tremble.

Darius removed his sunglasses and gazed intently at Andreas.

“I will offer you my protection in my home while this contract on you is investigated,” Darius replied. “It is obvious that the only way you will be completely safe is in my custody.”

“I can't argue with that,” Andreas said. “But what do you want in exchange for this protection? I don't have very much.”

Darius smiled at him. It was a beautifully predatory smile that sent a chill down his spine.

“I want you, Andreas. Wasn't that clear the other night?”

“You want me...as a lover?”

Darius shook his head. The smile, like his eyes, grew hotter.

“We will be lovers, but that isn't enough for me, exquisite Andreas,” he said softly. “I want you to be my Dami. I want to own your body, mind and will for at least a year.”

Andreas felt like the ground dropped from beneath his feet. His body was reacting even as his mind was rebelling. He wanted Darius like he'd never wanted anyone before, but could he give himself so completely to someone he barely knew? Could he risk turning him down? What would he become if he accepted?

“Trust me, Andreas, and submit to me completely. Now.”

That voice made him hard and weakened everything that was trying to fight this. His final thought before he spoke was that Viktor would never let him hear the end of it.

“Yes, Darius,” Andreas said softly as he met the Cosi's gaze. “I will be your Dami. I submit.”

“Good,” he murmured, taking Andreas by the hand.

They threaded their way through the vehicles until they could see the would-be hit squad. They were quite safe as the Cosi security team outgunned them and were on a hair trigger for any movement. Andreas couldn't believe that they remained with all that firepower and the police still there. How much were these guys being paid or what were they facing if they failed? The security shield dropped.

“Attention,” Darius said in a booming and commanding voice. “Andreas Hesper is under my protection from now hence. He is my property and as such, you will have to take on the Cosi and me to get to him.”

Andreas inhaled sharply causing Darius to turn toward him. The Cosi's eyes were hot as he dropped Andreas' hand to grab him by the hair at the back of his head. Finally, those full, firm lips were on his. Then, that tongue was pushing inside his mouth, claiming him more forcefully than words could. The kiss was voracious and demanding. Andreas responded even as his knees weakened and he sagged against the larger man. Darius lifted his head and smiled down at him.

“Yes, Andreas. You are mine,” he murmured.

This kiss is the blueprint for everything intimate between this Seme and this uke. Darius is demanding and possessive from that point hence. Andreas always buckles under the heat and intensity of his kiss. His knees buckle even faster once he has known Darius as a lover. His submission becomes more and more complete with each surrender. And it all begins with that first kiss.

Okay, I need to go watch or read or watch some yaoi now. Links to longer excerpts can be found in the menu on the left. Links on where to purchase the print and ebook versions are there as well.

New Yaoi Title Preview and Bookfair Yaoi Online Sale!

Colonel Rik Heron and Major Vincent Greven are retired from the extreme dangers of Falcon Squad's near suicide ops, but somehow danger keeps finding them. It's bad enough that their romantic vacation was overshadowed by the presence of the being whose blood produced their mutation. If Simon Molinar is still alive and as young as Rik and Vincent, how can he be anything else but the vampire about whom rumors whispered? Why is he stalking them? Rik senses that the being needs something from them. That's the only reason Molinar didn't try to attack them that he can think of. The Foundation Benefactors and the military brass think that idea is crazy, but they were willing to give them leeway place him in custody. There are too many mysteries about the beginnings of the Altereds that Molinar could answer. But that's only half of their problems. A squad of washout soldiers have escaped exile and seem to be headed for a confrontation with Rik and Vincent.  Meanwhile, Bobby Greven and his love are trying to plan a wedding without the press finding out. And one of Rik's more volatile trainees has decided he is in love with him. Life for the pair is as crazed and dangerous as ever. This time, however, they are determined that nothing and no one will come between them.

Read the first three chapters HERE! 
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Andreas Comes Alive, Naughty Freebies and Protective Ukes

I have to preempt my planned blog to have a flailing fit over a photo I spied in a web magazine called Gaytwogether.com. This image appeared on Friday. Maddeningly, there is no name for the model. There is no listing even for an agency!! Anyway, feast your eyes on the embodiment of Andreas Hesper from Ensnared. He would have no beard or mustache, but that's him! I was distracted most of the day trying to find out who represents this dreamboat. I was hoping to hire him to do some photos for posters and the like. Alas, there was no info on him to be had from the website or the photo. At any rate, it isn't often that I've seen an near perfect representation of a character in real life. I thought my readers might enjoy looking at that face as much as I did.

Now, where was I?

Naughty Freebies

I'm planning on doing a few convention appearances this year. Thus far, there is The West Hollywood Book Fair in September, Yaoicon in October and Bent Con in December. For those occasions, I am planning on giving away some fun merchandise that is in keeping with the themes of my yaoi books. This has made for some entertaining things turning up in my search history. I'll bet you never thought about how many kinds of key words it took to find novelty packets of mini lube. The right word is pillows. Pillows??!! I found them on Amazon, believe it or not. Little did I know that putting them on my wish list or favoriting something on Etsy like the 'Pocket Sadist' mini flogger would end up on my Facebook page. Not that I hide my interests or the nature of my writing, but an image of a big bucket o' lube (really, amazon?) or an image of a mini flogger is waaaay more 'in your face' than I ever am. Ah, well. On the plus side, I did find a lot of really cool things to give away at these events. And no worries if you aren't planning on attending any of them1 I'm planning on contests that will coincide with the events where my readers can get a chance to win some or all of these items. Along with the naughty things, there will be fun stuff like illustrated short stories featuring my yaoi men and an illustrated cookbook by Vincent Greven and a Dami ear tag and collar from Ensnared. I'll have more details and images of all of the freebies closer to the events.

Onto my original topic of the day!

Protective Ukes

I've talked a lot about possessive Semes, because I adore them. What's the point of being a Seme if it isn't to be crazy possessive? I've also talked about the headstrong uke. There is another type of uke that I adore reading and watching and writing. I really adore the protective uke. That trait seems to be counter-intuitive. The definition of being a uke is being submissive to a dominant partner. Such dominants are powerful people. How could a uke think his Seme would need protecting? The Seme's I like the best are very complicated. As powerful as they really are, there is always some vulnerability in the Semes I like to follow and most definitely in the ones I like. Let's take one my very favorite yaoi couples, Akihiko Usami and Takahashi Misaki of Junjuo Romantica. Usami or Usagi is a very powerful man. He is wealthy and successful and well regarded. His confidence is so absolute that it often drifts into arrogance. Yet, from the beginning of their relationship and before they were really lovers, Misaki sensed that Usagi was fragile emotionally. He is protective of him even from his own brother's insensitivity. Later, he is vehement in defending Usagi against anyone who had a bad word against him – even if those words were true. I adore the complex interplay between these two adorable men.

My own ukes are very protective of their Semes. Darius Galatea of Ensnared Volumes 1&2 is literally the most powerful being on the planet. Yet even he is vulnerable if he has a perceived weakness or eccentricity. His choice of Andreas Hesper as a lover alone could endanger his life. Andreas is sensitive to this concern from the start of their relationship. He is very protective of the image Darius presents while they are together. Though Andreas cannot bear the thought of being apart from Darius, he is consumed with the concern that their relationship will cause his lover's downfall or even his death. Many of his actions during Volume Two, including cutting himself off from his oldest friend, are about protecting Darius from forces that are almost as powerful as he is seeking to take his position and his life. In the Soldiers books (A Soldier's Choice and A Soldier's Fate), The physically powerful Colonel Rik Heron is vulnerable from forces in the military that helped create him and he is emotionally fragile. Upon his return from oblivion Vincent has two purposes in life – loving Rik Heron and protecting him from all threats. Vincent is also willing to protect his lover from even those closest to them. In both cases, the ukes biggest fight in protecting their respective Semes is with the Semes themselves. Often, it is their own behavior that causes the biggest problems. For Andreas, this is a very delicate dance he must do with his Seme. Darius was literally bred to lead. His words are like laws – they must be obeyed. It is difficult to get him to accept that he even needs protecting let alone allow others to act on his behalf. Vincent, on the other hand, can be much more direct. He makes sure his lover eats and rests. And everyone knows that to cross Rik means that Vincent's powerful anger and his dangerous abilities will be aimed squarely at the threat. This facet to these love stories makes them more compelling for me as a reader and a writer. Hopefully my readers will feel the same. For links to excerpts from these books or links on where to purchase the books, see the MENU to the right.

Next time, an exciting preview to the next yaoi manga I worked on for DMG. It's Sakira's white hot Wild Boyfriend!

When Seme on Seme Works

While writing the script for a Cook Like a Uke episode based on my Soldier's books (A Solder's Choice and A Soldier's Fate), my Hubs pointed out that Major Vincent Greven seemed like a typical uke, but he acted much more like a Seme. It was a valid point that caused me to completely re-write the script. I have written in a previous blog that I reading and writing about adore headstrong ukes. I'll take a uke that will yell at his Seme and give him all sorts of hell over one that is sweet and shy any day of the week. Andreas Hesper from the Ensnared novels is very much this kind of strong willed uke. He is an underworld crew leader who can handle himself in a pitched fight. But for his Seme, Darius Galatea, he is yielding. He often blushes. And he proudly wears a collar of ownership Darius demands. Vincent does seem to be that sort of uke, but one must look closer. [For links to excerpts see the Menu on the right].

Admittedly, Vincent Greven appears to be a typical uke. He is younger than his Seme by over ten years. Physically, he is shorter and slighter than Rik Heron who was also his trainer and superior officer while they were in the military. Even in their post military positions at the Foundation, Rik is still at a higher rank in the organization. In fact, it took a nearly losing Vincent in a tragedy to make Rik realize that he was more than a subordinate. Once he does, he behaves like a typical, possessive Seme. Rik often ends arguments by tossing Vincent over his shoulder and taking him to bed where he often holds him down or ties him down to take him for hours. Vincent thus seems like a typical uke and Rik very much a very possessive Seme.

But Rik is more complicated than that. He is as fragile as he is strong. Like the other Altered soldiers from that program, he has been emotionally damaged. There are times when he needs to be protected and times when he needs to be taken out of himself and loved. Vincent always sensed that in Rik. It was one of the reasons he stuck close and always watched his superior officer. He protected him however he could when they were soldiers. As a couple, he asserted himself as a Seme to truly prtect his lover both physically and emotionally whenever Rick needed that. From the onset of their relationship as a couple, Rik and Vincent switched off the role of sexual aggressor. Rik enjoys being pursued and occasionally ravished by Vincent. Despite Vincent's size, he is very strong. He is as strong as Rik because of the way he was Altered for military service. When they fight, only Rik's experience gives him an edge against Vincent. They are also a near match in intellect. Rik is comfortable enough in his own skin to acknowledge his needs and weaknesses to someone who has his heart.

The best excerpt to show the dynamic of their relationship is from A Soldier's Fate. This is during the time they are working together for the military as consulting trainers for new recruits.

Vincent and I were putting in long hours during the weeks of training. Our day typically began at 0500. We had breakfast then met with Remak and Percival to discuss Foundation business. Both were accustomed to military hours, and the phones were silent. We’d get a lot covered then. From 0700 to 1500, we trained the cadets. The day was short because training was physically and emotionally draining. We’d meet with staff members over supper. I thought after all of that, bedtime would be a shower or bath together then fall over unconscious. This did not turn out to be the case. My lover was profoundly affected by training alongside me. I was startled by the naked hunger in his eyes as we’d reach the end of the day. Vincent’s palpable need for me had a powerful affect on me as well. It was all we could do to keep our hands off each other until all of our work was done, and we were alone. Then, it was intense.

Sometimes, Vincent had me first and always while I wore the uniform He’d hold me down and stroke me until I climaxed. All the while he watched me with hungry, predatory eyes. I would be a limp rag doll afterward, but Vincent enjoyed flipping me over and taking me in that uniform. He really enjoyed sex that way, but his favorite was for me to take him in my bastard Colonel attire. I would use my strength on him to strip him then take him hard while his gaze drank me in. It was incredible.

And before I could worry myself about the implication of his new hunger, my lover eased my mind. It was the first Sunday of training and our first full day off. I was waking gently with Vincent partially on top of me. I yawned and stretched beneath his sleep-warmed body. Then, he nuzzled my chest.

“Thank you for letting me enjoy my fantasy with you,” he murmured. “But don’t think that’s the only way I’d want you now.”

He looked up at me. The morning sunlight softly illuminated his hair and eyes. His smile was sweet and warm.

“I want you when you stretch like a lazy cat and moan in that deep, sexy voice,” he said softly. “I want you when you smile or when you’re angry. When you look at me in the morning with those dark, sleepy eyes, smile at me and say good morning, Love, I fall for you all over again.”

Vincent was still magical to me. He was still a balm for my soul. My heart surrendered to him every time I woke to his golden gaze. I smiled at him, brushing the hair from his eyes.

“Good morning, Love,” I said softly.

I rolled us over, so I could pin him beneath me. He gasped as our aroused bodies pressed together.

“Rik...please...”

I kissed him gently and deeply. We made love slowly and reverently that morning. There were no roles to play and all the time we needed.

Vincent is comfortable enough with Rik to occasionally be the sweet, shy uke. However, in reality, he is very much a Seme. In this case, the pairing works for these characters.

To read more excerpts, got to http://soldierschoice.com .

The Secret Side of a Seme

One of my alter egos is an Editor at Digital Manga. This past week, my team and I finished the first pass on Again Tomorrow. I've written a blog for the manga about a characteristic common to the Semes in the three stories. Then, I realized that they had something in common with my Semes. You can read the Again Tomorrow blog HERE before continuing onward. Don't worry, it's not very long, and it is pertinent.

No real spoilers here.

I realized that along with the secret lives these Semes, Yuu and Ryou lead with their lovers, they had a secret side to themselves that only their ukes saw. I also realized that this was true of the Semes in my books, Darius and Rik. Given how naked the Semes are in these books and manga, I'm sure it raises the question of whether it is even possible for them to have a secret side that doesn't involve an x-ray. It's a side to their personalities that they only allow their lovers to see. It's basically vulnerability. All four characters appear aloof – even cold to the outside world. In the case of Darius from Ensnared and Rik from A Soldier's Choice and A Soldier's Fate, they are also rightly viewed as dangerous to outsiders. In Darius' case, he is absolutely and justifiably frightening to the public. These public faces are essential for these Semes to maintain their standing in their social circles. For Yuu, he is a Vice President and heir to his father's company. He must be stoic and focused solely on business. Ryou has his campus image to maintain. In Rik's case, he needs to be perceived as a hard-assed special forces Colonel in order to be taken seriously as a trainer and commanding officer. Darius' rule over a region of space as well as his life hinges on being seen as unyielding and lethal.

Somehow, these ukes see through these carefully constructed images to the hidden personality. Andreas sees a glimpse of something beyond the iron fisted ruler in Darius before they even speak to each other. Vincent sees hints of something more tender in Rik long before they become lovers. All facets of this gentler side to these Semes is revealed when they realize that the only way to keep their uke's by their sides and in their beds is to truly show how they feel about everything. These ukes are very smart along with being incredibly beautiful and extremely sexy. They know what a gift they were given in being able to see the true nature of their Semes. Thus, each is protective of their lovers and make sure that side is only seen by them in as much privacy as these impulsive, headstrong men allow.

To learn more, you'll have to read these titles. Again Tomorrow is coming soon on Digital Manga's page linked in the first paragraph.

 Ensnared Volume One, the Paperback is now  on Amazon.com HERE

 Ensnared Volume Two is LIVE on Kindle HERE
The paperback is available HERE
Ebooks for all types of players available on Smashwords HERE  
Ensnared Volume One Kindle Ebook Available HERE 
Check out full chapter excerpts for Volume One and Volume Two under Hot Links in the Menu on the right side of this page!

The next Cook Like a Uke video is being shot this very day (Friday, February 17^th). I should be online sometime this weekend. It will be earlier if I can manage it.

Food and Yaoi/BL -- A Tasty Combo!

Buy all e-book formats of Ensnared, Ensnared Volume Two, A Soldier's Choice and A Soldier's Fate and find links to print and Kindle versions HERE
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I'm often asked 'what is with all the food in your yaoi?' The question is sometimes asked with exasperation especially after launching the youtube videos Cook Like a Uke. The short answer is that food is about seduction – especially for men. The adage – the way to a man's heart is through his stomach – is true. In the every day world, it is a far more realistic and a simpler writing device to have a male character become enthralled to someone via cooking than through more elaborate romantic advances. Bathtubs and fireplaces are very romantic, lend themselves to nakedness easily and are fun to imagine. They are devices I employ quite often and with great relish. However, I always base my characters on reality no matter how fantastic the setting I put them in. Men like food. I like cooking food. It's a very easy and fruitful union for me and my characters.

I use food and sometimes cooking in different ways in yaoi. I use it as a means of foreplay. My Semes and my Ukes all love good food. They taste it and savor it the same way they would the skin of their lovers. My characters are highly sensual beings. The taste of great food combined with the reactions of their lovers to the food often lead to heated sexual encounters. WARNING! Mild Spoilers Ahead!!

Andreas Hesper in Ensnared is first attracted to the angelic yet diabolical Darius Galatea by the way the powerful Lord enjoys his meal. He likens the way Darius eats his food to watching foreplay by a master. He immediately wonders what it would be like to have that intense attention of that mouth and that tongue on his body. Heedless of the danger, Andreas felt compelled to approach him because of that.

Truth be told, he couldn't really explain what possessed him to behave that way toward the most powerful man on the planet. He was far better looking in person than Andreas expected. Mykos Estevan was very attractive with his flowing platinum hair and strangely violet eyes. But Lord Galatea was strikingly beautiful with that creamy skin and hair the color of butter. The way the man enjoyed his food was like watching foreplay by a master. Andreas found himself wondering what it would be like to have that focus aimed at him. A simple introduction would not do. He had to do something to make Darius remember him beyond that night. Andreas believed he had succeeded, but to what end? Viktor was right about Darius and his reputation. No one refused him – ever.

Once Andreas was in service with Darius as his body slave, he often finds himself distracted when Darius is eating which often leads to being dragged into the bedroom.

Andreas was happy that his thoughts on the Convening were useful to Darius, but he was having trouble concentrating. Darius was a very sensual eater. The way he held and savored that sandwich reminded Andreas strongly of how his Owner made love, and it was driving him crazy. Though sore from the thorough use of his body the night before, Andreas found himself hungry for more. Everything the Cosi did while he enjoyed his meal reminded Andreas of their lovemaking. He could hardly get through his own delicious sandwich for stealing glances at Darius. Their leisurely lunch proceeded despite Andreas' growing distraction.

“Look at me, Andreas,” Darius murmured.

Andreas complied, meeting those vibrant blue eyes that were gazing warmly at him.

“What has you so distracted?”

“You, Darius. Your hands...your mouth...”

“Insatiable, are you?”

“No...it's you...what you do to me...”

Those incredible blue eyes flashed before he stood. Andreas watched as his Owner reached over to grab him by the hair, urging him to his feet. In a swift, elegant move Darius pulled his Dami against him then kissed him hungrily. Andreas felt a jolt of pure lust before his knees buckled. Darius continued the kiss even as he swept Andreas into his arms to carry him to the bedroom. During that brief trip, Andreas buried his hands in Darius' silken hair and held fast. He barely heard the bedroom door shut.

Andreas even becomes possessive about anyone else witnessing what he found so compelling as they spend more and more time together.

“What is troubling you, besides the mess we left in the living room?”

“I'm going crazy,” Andreas muttered. “You've made me crazy. I don't want anyone seeing how you look when you eat. It shows too much of who you really are.”

Darius smiled at him kindly.

“Now, you know how I feel about anyone looking at you at all. Your eyes, your smile, the way you laugh are all compelling,” Darius said. “And you are far more approachable than I am.”

“I approached you.”

“Yes, but only you could have gotten away with that,” Darius said. “You are singular in exquisiteness to me. I will not permit anyone else that access.”

“I've never felt possessiveness before. It scares me and pisses me off,” Andreas said. “I won't let anyone approach me. Even if I have to wear the collar and tag openly all the time. I don't ever want to cause you a moment of pain.”

Darius gazed at him with great warmth.

“You are well spent this evening, or I would make love to you again,” Darius murmured. “However, I will hold you close through the night, so you will be near my heart.”

For Darius and Andreas in Ensnared Volume One and Volume Two, food is something to sensually enjoy and often leads to lovemaking. Darius is aware of how much his enjoyment rouses his lover, and makes sure that it happens often. And though his arrogant Owner and lover exasperate him, Andreas doesn't mind the distracting turmoil that meals bring them.

For Rik Heron and Vincent Greven in A Soldier's Choice and A Soldier's Fate, food also leads to the bedroom but for different reasons. Vincent is combative by nature. He can also be quite boisterous in expressing himself most of the time, especially if he's ticked off. However, he is very shy about expressing his most personal feelings. He often uses food to show his love for Rik and later for their cobbled together family. Rik loves Vincent's cooking for a number of reasons. First off, it's delicious. He is often amazed at the skill and care his lover takes in preparing their meals. The other reason is that one of the rare times Vincent lets his real personality show is when he is cooking. From A Soldier's Choice:

I had never imagined that cooking would be a pleasure I shared with a lover. It was always difficult to watch Vincent without him becoming self-conscious and prickly. That didn’t happen when he was cooking. The process absorbed his attention making him lower his guard. His perpetual scowl was gone leaving the angelic, placid visage that I usually only glimpsed when he was sleeping. I sneaked long looks at him as often as my peeling or chopping allowed. When his gaze met mine, the expression in his eyes was soft and open. I adored the challenging and wicked glint that graced Vincent’s eyes most of the time, but there was something about that soft gaze that tugged at my heart. It could have shifted the mood, but I took the chance to tell him so.

A smile tugged at his lips, but his expression remained soft and open.

“I used to hate that smirk of yours,” he admitted quietly. “Then I realized it was part of your battle face – like my frown. And you’re smirk wasn’t always smug or all-knowing. Sometimes, you mock yourself; sometimes you’re daring me. I like your smirk, but I love how you look when you first open your eyes.”

“Why?”

“It’s a look that’s only for me,” he said with a slight blush. “I see everything in your eyes – what you feel about me and who you really are.”

Vincent let me corner him and draw him into long, lazy kisses while the fragrant soup stock simmered. In the back of my mind, I knew he was using a very pleasant diversionary tactic on me, but the rest of my body just didn’t care. I relished kissing that lush sweet mouth to my heart’s content.

Despite these practical reasons for having food play a role in the Soldier's titles, I still allow Rik and Vincent to let the pure sensuality of food propel them to the bedroom. Occasionally, food has been a major plot point for dangerous intrigue.

That really is the short reason of why I use food in yaoi. I could go on a lot longer. So enjoy the food along with my guys, and check out Cook Like a Uke!

When Semes Collide -- What Happens When Characters Don't Get Along

Ensnared, the Paperback is now  on Amazon.com HERE
Ebooks for all types of players available on Smashwords HERE  
Ensnared Kindle Ebook Available HERE

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To write a character well, I believe the writer must be empathetic to him or her. That applies to the unsympathetic characters as well. I never think of any character as evil. They each have reasons that are internally valid for their actions. It's just that their goals are diametrically opposed to the protagonists. That said, in my writing, protagonists are good guys and the antagonists are bad guys and never the twains shall meet. I have never had an occasion to turn a protagonist into an antagonist until now.

In A Soldiers Destiny, my enigmatic vampire, Simon Molinar from Demon Under Glass, is a less than sympathetic character. He is not quite an antagonist, but he is highly problematic for Rik and Vincent. Simon remains one of the most complicated characters I have ever written. I never write him from his point of view, so those who interact with him – mostly Joe McKay – have to sift through the words and motives and hope they can figure out the truth. Simon has centuries of experience in manipulating humans. Thus, aside from being innately funny and charming, He knows how to read people quickly and completely from his experience. He can be all things to all people. This works in the Demon Under Glass books, because Simon's goals are the same as Joe's for the most part. And those goals keep Joe by his side without any manipulating. Their pursuers' motivations and goals are horrific, thus it is easy to portray Simon as a protagonist.

The Foundation for Alterds is not like the Delphi Project. They have no sinister ulterior motives. The organization exists to better the lives of those with the genetic mutation whether they become soldiers or not. There are gaps in their knowledge about Delphi that Simon can fill. Also, he knows a great deal about where Delphi technology traveled beyond US borders and what has been and is being done with it. For that more than anything else, the Foundation is willing to extend him their considerable resources and protect him in great comfort indefinitely. Simon's situation is dire because the word has become much smaller than it is now. It is virtually impossible for anyone to exist without detection of a government. And there are organizations as powerful as some governments who know what Simon is.

The match appears to be perfect. But it is very difficult for a being as ancient as Simon to turn off his instincts or curb his desires. They have ruled his life for longer than anyone can imagine. Times have changed for Simon in many ways. He does not understand how the political climate affects his position. He believes that what he has is valuable enough to give him leeway in his life at the Foundation. Simon cannot help manipulating his surroundings to his advantage in order to feel as safe as possible. Rik and the rest of the staff expect that and are prepared to counter that tendency and make him feel safe. The bigger issue for Rik and Vincent is Simon's tendency to misbehave and believe that there will be little in the way of consequences because of the vital nature of the information he holds. There Simon is potentially gravely mistaken. The military brass is not happy that Simon actually exists and they are very afraid that the real origins of the Altered program will become public. Their stance is to destroy him immediately – no matter what he may know. Most of the Foundation's Benefactors are uneasy about his presence in the facility. Vincent gleefully informs Simon that an Altered soldier can be destroyed on the whim of the military despite the millions spent in creating them, so what chance does he think he has if he crosses the line? Simon is in an unprecedented situation. Though mortal, Rik and Vincent are stronger and faster than he his. They can also be as remorseless killers as he is despite their warm and fuzzy reputation in the media.

Rik and Vincent's motivation is simple. They want to find ways to protect mutants like them from exploitation and death. They also are very protective of the family they have cobbled together at the Foundation. They have found a happiness and contentment with this odd collection of people that neither had known since entering the Altered Program. For Rik, it's the only family he has ever known. They view anything that might threaten their goals or their family with great suspicion and, in Vincent's case, hostility. Readers who have taken the journey with them through the previous books understand how hard they fought for the lives they lead. They understand the kind of friendship and support Simon could have if he can resist his impulses. So, I suggest to the Demon Under Glass fans who have not read the Soldier's books to go through and read the excerpts from both books at http://soldierschoice.com or by the books at Smashwords (scroll down to the middle of the page). The ebooks are really cheap and you can read 20 percent of the book free on that site.

Simon is in a position with these men that he has never known. Charm will not work on them. They are soldiers. Actions are what impresses them. Simon is thus faced with the notion of going through both basic and advanced military training with these men before he can hope to cut any ice with them. That gives me an opportunity for a lot of humor. Which is a relief, because I find writing these scenes very awkward. It's like having an intimate dinner party with groups of friends who don't like each other and who each wonders why I bother with the other. Since I enjoy writing all of them – or I wouldn't write them – it's been a conundrum. Still, I think the story is coming together well and will be something both factions of my readers will enjoy.